I have never believed more in fate than i have today.

Watched CSI the whole day. Supposed to do something for Farhan's homecoming but ya...
Night shift tonight.
It was about 5pm when mum asked me whether i wante dto go out with her & abah. My initial thought was how troublesome it would be for us to go out for dinner only to return home first cos it would be too early to go work.
I didn't know why but i later changed my mind.

So we were in the car.
Abah; ta, so how? Nak gi rumah bapak tak?
Mum: Gi aje uh. Kite stay dalam 10mins aje.

If you didn't already know, my atok had a bad fall which ended in stroke. He has been in hospital since Apr and was only discharged last week. To date, i can count the very few times i visited him.

When we got to the carpark, i could see ibu standing at the corridor outside atok's flat. We thought nothing of it until we went up. Maman Hussain was crying. Things began playing inside my head.
I looked in atok's room. It was crowded. There were 3 medics attending to him. I turned 360 and realised everyone was crying. I overheard ibu telling mak and abah that atok was unconsious and that his right hand had swelled.
it was chaos. I tried to calm everyone down but to no avail. I scolded maman asking him to stop crying. The medics decided that it would be best to send atok to CGH. I called my family unit to inform them. i wasn't crying the whole time this hapened. I guess it hadn't sink in yet.
When we arrived at A&E, all we could do was wait. Maman was still frantic. i saw medics pushing stretchers in and out of the observation ward. this particular medic caught my eye. He wsa so my type uh... but i realised that priority was the situation at-hand.
the recpetionist ushered us out into the atrium cos apparently only 2 members per patient wqas allowed in the waiting area. Mak asked me to withdraw some cash uh. I didn't know why but i turned around and guess what? Queing behind me was that medic i saw earlier. You know i'm not the type to look at someone i don't know but my eye darted towards his nametag. THen back to his face. it was Ideal. I was kinda stunned. He said, "Eh, hi." I did the same.
Ideal: I wanted to ask u something. Argh... I forgot what it was.
Me: Ya?
Ideal: Oh ya, Can i have your number?
He tried to switch his hp on but the battery was weak.
He withdrew some cash from the atm and continued talking.
Ideal: How have you been? What are you doing here?
Me: My atok was rushed here. SO i'm waitin for him.
IDeal: Oh. U alone?
Me: No uh.. (pointing at my family members) Tu my family...
Ideal: Oh. U can i borrow your phone? So i can send you my no? I just lost my phone and this is a new SIM so i can't remember my no.
Me; Yea sure.
Despite the fact that i was thrilled to bump into Ideal, i was too distracted to even look at him, let alone think of something to talk about. He stood infront of me, while i was placing his SIM card into my phone.
I deal: U ok tak sha?
Me: No i'm not.
Ideal: Asal you tak tunggu aje kat A&E nye waiting area?
Me: Recep halau. He said only 2 pple per pwatient.
Ideal: MErepek seh die! Meh uh ikut i. Kite gi sane together.
Me: Takpe uh u. I'm with my family.
Ideal: Ok then. I gtg. Nanti i sampai firepost i call you k?!
Me: Yea ok.
Walked over to where abah was. The doctor said that atok needs to be warded. Ward 44.
Went up the elevator. Damn. Even the ride up to level 4 seem like an eternity. I couldn't wait to see atok. I can only imagine how his children must have felt.

When i finally got to see atok, he was still unconsious. it finally dawned on me how dire the situation was. I'm gonna lose him.
When everyone went out to the waiting area, i sat by atok's bed. Suddenly remembered all the times he took care of me. LIke how he used to bring home mee siam for my grandma and me after his night shift. Or how he washed my school shoes, he taught me how to write in Jawi & how he would cook for my brother and me. He did all that and i couldn't even visit him regularly.
I was devastated. Tears started welding up in my eyes. He gripped my hand as he was grasping for air. I couldn't hold back any longer. I just cried. I told him how sorry i was for not doing all i could to repay him and how i love hm and appreciate all the things he did for my brother and me. I recited prayers over and over again.
So, there. That's fate for you.
If i had refused to tag along, i wouldn't have been able to be there for him. I would have missed the opportunity just like when nenek passed on. I guess it's really fated that my parents decide to drop by atok's place.

"People say I'm difficult; but so are they."

Icha

11:58 pm